Saturday, October 25, 2014

To engage or to choose your battles?

We are often taught to "choose our battles".  What the heck does that mean, we need to be pushovers and not stand up for ourselves? According to the Big Think blog, we need to assess the situation and decide whether to engage or to retreat.

So when should you use these and other techniques?  When is a battle not worth the aftermath?  Consider the following guidelines. It's best not to engage when:
(1) There’s a low probability of winning without doing excessive damage
(2) Upon reflection, winning isn't as important as it originally seemed 
(3) There likely will be a time down the line when you can raise the issue again with a different person or in a different way
(4) The other party's style is provocative whether speaking with you or others, so it’s not worth taking personally
(5) You could win on the immediate issue, but lose big in terms of the relationship

Personally, I'd add some of my own categories:
a. When the argument becomes irrational, such as anything involving astrology, Feng Shui, karma, or somebody's mom being a bitch
b. When the counterparty is a female

Tragically, the above two usually go together.

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